Loving you

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I wish I love you.....I wish I love you so so much....
But I can't. I can't let myself to love you.
I can't because you don't allow me to dream.
You don't allow me to follow my dreams.
I can't love you because you have destroyed all my dreams I had.

Anyway I miss you.


Maybe I should't miss you....It's like a torture.

I do not know how the future will be. ...
I can't say even it's good what I have decided........ maybe I will regret all my life...maybe not. May be you will regret...who knows...??? Maybe I will change my mind...maybe you will... MAY BE ...you will change. You will....maybe not..

Hopes.

I want my dreams back. I want my life back. Can I have everything back to me please?

Of course I can!

But...I can't forget the words..." I don't want to sacrifice...I can't afford....I think you should return in your country....I don't know how will you face the PhD with this low English....you should get a job".....bla, bla , bla.
How can you say this? Don't you feel pains in your soul when you say these things?

Shall I forget these words? Shall I?
Maybe it is not a such a big thing to forget them...but who will know?
DO YOU WANT me to forget them....?

The time will show me the way....
The time will show you the way....
The time will show our way. If we have a common one, haha. If we don't have, we can build one together.....but do you want?
I do not know how to behave with you...I do not know what do you want....please just tell me.....in my brain it's a big fog.

My dreams are made puzzle beause of you.
Sometimes I feel like in heaven with you...sometimes it's like hell.
Shall I put you out of my brain? But how? It's so easy to say..but so hard to do it....

Can I have a normal life? Why everything should be so complicated ....? can I be just happy? Can I be just happy without you? ...................And you? Are you happy without me? Are you really believe what are you saying? hmmm

It's more easy to put me away than to give us a chance? It is so hard to talk with me?
Do you really believe you can be happy with someone else? But me?..............


Be clear to me..like I am clear to you ....I ask you only this



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