Story

I feel the need to explain everything that happened with me due to the car accident. I really want this to be the last accident in my life. If someone out there wants me to die, I prefer to die now. Now when I am no one and I have done almost nothing on this Earth. Now when I have just dreams and I have no power to make them true. Now when I do not love....But please don't take me after I will realise all of these things. After I will do all the things I want, after I will have the power to HELP people in need. Don't take me when I will find the love...

As I said, I prefer to die now or to live forever!

*****
I couldn't sleep all that night before the accident and I do not know why. I was thinking about my plans...about my production company, about my NGO...and my PhD of course. I was thinking how to manage them...how to make meaningful projects with my NGO, great documentaries with my production company.....I was dreaming to teach at Uni as well. I was imagining my life between travelling around the World doing documentaries and participating at international conferences, giving speeches, helping people through my NGO....

I woke up happy and positive! That day I had so many things to do. I was listening to music, having a shower. I was dressing all in black... and even now I wonder why. I put no make up on my face, just a bit of perfume on my black dress. I didn't eat and I left home with a smile on my face.

I was not in a hurry. For the first time maybe.

I had an appointment at 9.30. I took the tube as always. When I arrived on the street, I didn't know where exactly the building I was looking for was located, so I asked many people, even a newspaper seller - no one knew. I was walking along the street for a while. A security guard man stopped me: "Miss, you are so beautiful!" I was smiled. " Can you help me to find the X building?" I asked. And he showed me...

It was wery close. I assured no car was coming from the left side. I crossed the first part of the road. I assured that no car was coming from the right side and I passed. ...or I intended to pass.

From here I remember nothing. I do not recall the moment when the car hit me. I realized that I was down on the street and I assumed that something happened. No pain, no fear. Just the smell of blood. I heard a lot of voices: "The ambulance is coming soon", "Try to not move her". I opened my eyes. I told them that I was ok: "I have no pain, I can talk, I can walk, I have an appointment in few minutes, so I need to go". They told me I was crazy. Anyways, I tried to get up. Two men helped me, holding my arms and my head. The taxi driver (I found out after that that a taxi hit me) gave me a lot of tissues to stop the bleeding from my head and my nose. I couldn't stop it..so I lied down on the taxi coach. After one minute I realized that I couldn't move. The pain was coming step by step. I felt pain everywhere, especially inside my brain and around my neck. I was feeling like thousands of needles were pushing inside my neck. Soon I realized I couldn't move my head.
The ambulance came. They put me something around my neck and moved me on the portable bed. I was lying down with my face up and I could see only lots of phones filming me and the clear sky. I was so so cold and I heard they were concerned because my blood pressure was getting low. "Hey, don't worry" , I whispered, "usually I have a very low blood pressure". They smiled and put a blanket on my body. In the ambulance there were two young men, thin and handsome. One of them held my hand all the time. Both were trying to keep me awake: "what's your name? How old are u? ...oh.....I nice , we are the same age, I am 26th too".

I do not remember if I said "thank you" to them when I arrived to the hospital.

Metz

Everyone told me I need to visit Metz - a small town in the North of France, close to Luxembourg. Here you are, finally I have arrived in this wonderful town. From the train station, the place didn't look so impressive, but as you go further in the centre of the town, you can see the whole beauty of the Saint Stephen Cathedral. The Cathedral is unique in the World as a union between two churches. But you can find many more informations about Metz if you press here . No need to put on my blog some informations that are already on internet, right? :P

Well, something you might not find on internet is : close to the Cathedral you can find some places with the best cakes you can ever eat!

Of course, people like there to go out for eating. At 7 o'clock in the evening, all restaurants and pizzerias were full. And the food is cheap (cheaper than Luxembourg - 7 euro a meal) and pretty good!

Another impressive thing I have found there is Metz loves arts. Everywhere you can see paintings on the walls or even on the fences, many exebitions, festivals, dance competitions, etc. Lovely to watch indeed!

For you

I can sent this to you in private, but NO. I have nothing to hide. I want everyone to know about my feelings, about the love I have for you.

I remember many times when you hold my hand for the first time..and I told you "this means nothing".......now I can understand how much means that gesture! And I miss that gesture a lot. And if I would accept that gesture in that moment, maybe we would have more time spent together as lovers.....as tween souls....And I regret I was not enough wise to accept your hold.

And we were friends, the best frends possible. We spent a lot of time together...talking, watching movies, dancing (you are the best salasa dancer:p), cooking and eating together.....so wonderful moments! Tell you wat: I was feeling so good with you everytime! I like your company, I like how you behave, I like your story, I like your life, I like your friends, I like, I like, I like!

I want to make a documentary about you.

And I miss you so much! I spent with you the best time ever in my life, you really know to make me happy indeed! And I know you were happy with me too. Cause we are the same. Cause you can read into my eyes what I feel and what I think. And I can do this to you too. We are two people so similar who are comming from so different backgrounds, different countries, different religions, everything is different around us, but we are the same. Can you believe? Waw! This is incredible! And because of this I won't ever put you out from my life. Because you are my tween soul, my man, my baby.....

And i will love you all my life, no matter what will happen, what we will do and who we will marry with. You will be in my mind forever. Even I do not know to show this too well, hhaha, you know it is true, because you feel this. And you can read me, as you can read a book, isn't it?

:)

And I will love everything you love and you will love: your nephews, your sister, in the future - your wife and your children. Because this love means. Because this is unconditional love! Because this is my love for u!

Victoria

Esch-sur-Sûre

Actually, this place is a little villare (only wth 305 people) in Luxembourg, the second smallest village in the country.
So small, but so beautiful!

If you climb the ruins of the castle, you can see there an incredible view ! Forest, mountains, a very calm river (Sauer), peace and beauty! All of these things you can find them in Esch-sur-Sure.

When I first stepped in there, I had the impression I am into a nature paradise! This place is indeed made for painters, musicians or another type of artists! Here you can create. Here you can find your peace. Here you can make plans for the future. And I made plans for my future in there!

In the forest I have found some round yellow plums..very good to eat and I took a lot, hahhaah! I didn't eat for a long time forest fruits:)

Near to the castle ruins there is a good restaurant where you can eat traditional food and with only 12 euro you can have a very rich meal. From the hight of that restaurnat I saw the all willage surrounded by the Sauer river. So beautiful! I would be so happy to return in there someday....

More information about Esch-sur-Sure here

More pictures here

PULA

It is a small town in northern Croatia that has kept the remains of Roman architecture and flavor of the Adriatic Sea. To get there you need to have only about 200 euros for the flight ticket and still 100 for the accommodation in any hostel. Me and my fellow trainees, we all have stayed at PULA Art Hostel with 15 euro per night. In general the prices are quite high, although one euro is worth seven Croatian Kuna. The restaurants are great and plentiful - one serving come from two people and cost between 40-60 kuna. You can eat all sorts of goodies: seafood, cevapcici (traditional food), salads of all kinds and the finest meats. I ate a super goodicecream with 30 kuna, hihi. In Pula are at least 12 beaches, but the word 'beach' is somehow inappropriate, as there are rocks and stones everywhere ... .. but the water is clear, blue and cool. It is beautiful to look at the panorama. To visit the center is full of monuments, buildings and historical sites: The Arena, The Triumphal Arch of the Sergii, The Temple of Augustus, the Forum, Hercules Gate, etc.

You can find more information here If you go there, please do not forget the lavender products (massage oil, bath oil, atomizers camera, etc., etc.) . Croatia is known for the best lavender plantations in the world. I bought a massage oil and body oil, both very consistent and with beautiful smell. In fact I was sorry that I have not bought much many.

Here we found a very good quality honey with walnuts, hazelnuts, peanuts and other ones inside. As a traditional drink, I tried slibobica, a sweet plum or pear liqueur, very good. People used to drink it after eating and as a desert they take some candied orange peel, cut into very thin strips.Another traditional dessert is smokveniak - a bar of fig and hazelnut. I will stop here with the story and I leave you with photos hoping they will amaze you.

Brussels

I was there for the second time in a train station in Brussels. It is s station like a huge shopping center - specifically international railway station. Outside it was raining and the cold wind entered in my bones already . I don't want to go out for the town tour with my trainees form Luxembourg. But when you're in a group, you need to respect the group's rules, isn't it? And it is still raining outside. And I did not have any umbrella. So I 'sheltered' next to someone with the umbrella.
The first feeling I had was the 'I would not want to live here, but I'd like to revisit it and go for shopping' - that because prices are much lower than in Luxembourg. And yes, I got my leather gloves - two pairs from the centre of the city. I didn't bought chocolate though.... So I told to myself: 'don't worry, you will buy next time" .... For me 27 euro for a chocolate box it was a little bit too expensive, hahhaaha! When I'll be rich I can easily take a train to Bruxelles to buy Belgian chocolate.
The center of the town it is very nice. I learned that homes are cheaper here than on the outskirts or suburbs. Sitting in the center in Brussels is cheaper than sitting at the edge of town, hahha! I found out later why. Well, the richest people form the town moved out from their apartments in the center because they have built luxurious houses with all conditions in the suburbs. With car they can travel from one to another to side of the Bruxelles. Therefore, central apartments have remained empty. The rental or purchase prices have plummeted because the buildings are old and no elevator. Most students live in them now.
Brussels was a little Venice 100 years ago. There's a river Seine, which still exists today (but under the town). Now it is clear and hosts 12 goldfish. It was not always so. People used to throw garbage there, excrement and household wastes. Brussels was an outbreak of infection - which is another reason that rich families have left the center building and moved into their new houses in the suburbs.
But you can not say that you visited Brussels if you didn't drink a beer from Delirum café, where you can find over 2,500 varieties of beer. The place has a record related to the numerous variety of beers in the World! The owner had an idea to split it in three other small ideas and sold his vision. And he has sold it well .. I think I drank a beer there .. - even I do not drink ever beer -it is too bitter, hahahaha! (And I was pretty dizzy from that beer, hihi).
At night it's great to haunt the central bars. Each pub has a unique style, their flavour and personal policy to attract customers. Most of them have live evening concerts. I caught it on the Kiss & Drive singer singing a variety of indie songs, very original and with a very good voice. At one time she played with the typewriter! Really, you need to see it and wonder how she can compose the refrain for her songs on the stage!

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